For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (RED the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I’m ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I like marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I woke up it was 7
I waited till 11
Just to figure out that no one would call
I think i got a lot of friends but I don't hear from them
What's another night all alone?
When your spending everyday on your own
And here it goes

Oh...it's so annoying when you want to write something but it involves too many people that I can't write it. It's just begging to come out but... nah I can't...too dangerous. I'm being too open about what I write, these things must be kept inside...It's so tempting though trying to get people to understand the person inside. Argh! Enough!!!

I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me
Tonight...

So I think I got pretty decent marks for trials. Not so bad...I know I could have done better but what the hell man. No point emoing about it. I'm pretty surprised with my Lite marks. Didn't expect to get an A but hey I got it. I'm pretty disappointed with my English marks but whatever lar I don't care anymore. Paper 2 was probably too careless or something. I'm so angry with m
yself. Paper 1...no comment. I'm just confused but whatever lar. I'm pretty worried about the whole A+ thing. I know it's just some government bullshit. Stupid assholes who have nothing better to do with their lives.

And maybe when the night is dead, I'll crawl into my bed
Staring at these 4 walls again
I'll try to think about the last time, I had a good time
Everyone's got somewhere to go
And they're gonna leave me here on my own and here it goes

Oh yea I can't believe I forgot all about this. Nice to have you back Helen. You too Jason, hope you are doing well. You guys gave me a scare but it's all well and done. Lol the class has become way too quiet withot you guys. So sorry I didn't see either of you in the hospital. I got the news pretty late. XD

I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me

Stupid thing is still bugging me. Argh!!!

What the fuck is wrong with me?
Don't fit in with anybody
How did this happen to me?
Wide awake I'm bored and I can't fall asleep
And every night is the worst night ever

I'm just a kid [repeat x5

The Super Junior madness is driving me up the wall.It's so annoying. Who cares about a bunch a Korean guys? Korean guys are just so not hot. The only Korean guys I can stand are those from America. (Yea Ais you know who I'm talking about) What kind of a band has more than 10 members? Even 7 members are too many for me. More than 10? There is just nothing appealing about them. Pik Ee I understand. For some reason Koreans are her thing. Bleargh! Syiks I'll never understand. Why Koreans? Japs are so much better.

I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world.

Wow I just noticed the sequel to Liar Game was coming out really soon. Like in the middle of SPM. Shit!!! I can't wait. The hero is so damn handsome (so much better than Siwon). Doesn't need to be a pretty boy to look good. Squeeeeeeeeee!!! Though i wonder how they are going to go about the story since they already ended pretty well in the first series. Haha we'll see.


I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me tonight

I'm all alone tonight
Nobody cares tonight
Cause I'm just a kid tonight

Small town homecoming queen
She's the star in this scene
There's no way to deny she's lovely
Perfect skin, perfect hair
Perfumed hearts everywhere
Tell myself that inside she's ugly
Maybe I'm just jealous
I can't help but hate her
Secretly I wonder if my boyfriend wants to date her

Urgh! Trials are in about a weeks time. I should be studying but meh... It's annoying when I just have this sudden burst of depression. Not upset mind you just rather sudden bursts of helplessness and sadness. Maybe it's the exams coming up but I dunno. Sometimes I can pin the blame on something or rather like bitches or trust issues or just the whole I hate my life thing. The thing is I'm ok sometimes or when I should be angry I'm just blargh! It's annoying.

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sitting in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleeping on the floor
She's Miss America and I'm just the girl next door

I always had some sort of plan after SPM. Lepak kau kau until the results came out (maybe a part-time job). Maybe a chance to go Australia. NS has ruin it. Those idiots can't even tell us when is our batch so I can join a college that clashes wih the time. Right now I'm like WTH am I suppose to do. I can't compare scholarships if I want to go for the January intake as most of them are after SPM results. I may not even get a chance to go Australia because of all this confusion. I feel so... dragged... like everything has spun out of control.

Senior class president
She must be heaven sent
She was never the last one standing
A backseat debutaunt
Everything that you want
Never to harsh or too demanding
Maybe I'll admit it
I'm a little bitter
Everybody loves her but I just wanna hit her

I see my friends and I dread the end of the year. What are the chances of us keeping in touch after the school year ends? Maybe Pik Ee, Aisyah, Kuan Ngee, still will contact I don't know lar... But what about the rest Helen, Sarah, Syikin, Lets, Steph, the boys etc. It does feel like we won't see each other again no matter what anyone says. I know I'll miss everyone so much and yet...People say lets move to another chapter... but why must we leave everyone behind?

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sitting in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleeping on the floor
She's Miss America and I'm just the girl next door
Oh and I'm just the girl next door

Haha that's about it guys. Enjoy the holidays and good luck for trials. Miss you guys.

I don't know why I'm feeling sorry for myself
I spend all my time wishing that I was someone else

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sitting in the stands
I get a little bit, she gets a little more
She's Miss America and... she's Miss America
I'm just the girl next door...

Wow, did you know in Japan they actually ask each other their blood type when dating, business, etc. They say that blood types hold peoples personality. After searching it I had to agree.

Type A

People with blood type A have a deep-rooted strength that helps them stay calm in a crisis when everyone else is panicking. However, they tend to avoid confrontation, and feel very uncomfortable around people. A types are shy and sometimes withdrawn. They seek harmony and are very polite, but all the same feel that they never really fit in with others. A types are very responsible. If there is a job to be done, they prefer to take care of it themselves. These people crave success and are perfectionists. They are also very creative, and the most artistic of all the blood types, most likely because of their sensitivity.

Are usually composed and mild-tempered most of the time and is reliable and trustworthy. They may suppress their own emotions and appear strong, but they also have a fragile and nervous side as well. Because they are constantly trying to make themselves ideally what they think they should be, they are usually hard on others who are not of the same nature. These people tend to be surrounded by people of their same temperament.

Type A – The Farmer

calm patient sensitive responsible overcautious stubborn unable to relax Famous A’s (ewwwwwwwww) Adolf Hitler George Bush Senior Soseki Natsume Ringo Starr Britney Spears

Compatible with As and ABs

Anime Characters with A blood type

• Yagami Light (Death Note)
• Mello (Death Note)
• Mikami Teru (Death Note)
• Genjyo Sanzo (Saiyuki)
• Yuffie Kisaragi (Final Fantasy VII/Advent Children)
• Vincent Valentine (Final Fantasy VII/Advent Children)
• Irvine Kinneas (Final Fantasy VIII)
  
• Quistes Trepe (Final Fantasy VIII)

Irvine Kinneas Final Fantasy VIII

Draco In Leather Pants Syndrome

Hahahaha it seems it's official that i have the syndrome. Ok...What is it? The definition is pretty much when a fandom takes a controversial or downright villainous character and downplays his flaws, often turning him into an object of desire in the process.

Sounds familiar? So me. I mean come on Draco IS the most obvious example. This is a quote from Arizona Bay which pretty much explains it.

"I tell you, Satan's gonna have no trouble taking over here 'cause all the women are gonna say: 'What a cute butt.' 'He's Satan!' 'You don't know him like I do.' 'He's the Prince of Darkness!' 'I can change him.'"

Believe me, I've said/thought most of those things. Seriously Lucifer is the ultimate victim of the DiLP Syndrome.

Examples of my poor victims from tvtropes.org:-
Bleach Ok Bleach has way too many DiLP characters.
1) Ichimaru Gin - Evil asshole in every way and yet sigh...Perfect
2) Grimmjow - Definitely a jerk...Haven't decided I liked him yet but if I do DiLP

God Child
1) Cain - I don't think he is a jerk at all nor deserving of this title but still...Sigh
2) Jizabel - Ok how can you want to make your brother suffer so much just because daddy pays more attention to him? Seriously bastard of the highest account and I love him.

Comic Books
1) Lex Luthor - Blame Smallville but still Lex is all for me, asshole or not.
2) Dr Doom - Ok this guy confused me for the longest time but Julian just sealed the deal for me.

Hellboy 2
1) Prince Nuada - Not really. He was a bit annoying to me but I never really saw him as an asshole but I just can't stand the hints of twincest.

Heroes
1) Sylar - I never really loved him before but definitely enjoyed his (lick) sexual appeal.
2) Adam - Hmm...tvtropes.org never classified him but I guess he is since he does have a couple assholic moments.

Charmed
1) Cole - Julian...you spoil me dear.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
1) Pre-soul Spike - Spikey stay away from that Slayer-bitch. You deserve so much better.

Final Fantasy 7
1) Sephiroth - Draco of all Dracos. Sigh

Heroes
1) Sylar - I never really loved him before but definitely enjoyed his (lick) sexual appeal.
2) Adam - Hmm...tvtropes.org never classified him but I guess he is since he does have a couple assholic moments.

Last but not least:-
Everyone one Alan Rickman has ever played!!!
Alan Rickman rocks as an actor and I have so idea why but even the villians are all so yummy. Allllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn

Spoiler Alert! For those of you who don't want to spoil Harry Potter 6, Then don't read.

Ok I just watched Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince and seriously I thought in some ways it was better than the previous craps. Ok there were things I didn't like but we'll get to that later. What I loved about Harry Potter: Tom Felton. Seriously OMG he played Draco so well even I'm in awe. I mean reading the book, i mean we get that Draco's a child he shouldn't do this and all that but Tom Felton convinced me that he was a 16 year old boy. One year younger than I am. he shouldn't have to go through this crap. When he broke down in the toilet I felt wow, he never meant to hurt Kate and the Dark Lord is seriously asking way too much of it. Tom Felton convinced me of this more than JK Rowling ever could.

I did not, however like the fight scene in the bathroom. Too much boom. I mean seriously, it was obvious they were both aiming to kill and that was a bit too much. I did not feel the OMG Draco! that I did when I read the book (even for the 5th time). It was so meh. Boo hoo he's bleeding so what? That in my opinion was disappointing.

Ok what else... Alan Rickman was brilliant as usual, that goes without saying. However, the one thing I do not like about it was the loss of Severus' temper. If anything, I think that that is Severus' biggest flaws. His temper and his ability to hold grudges. With no offence to the brilliant Sir Alan Rickman, I am very disappointed with the loss of this flare. I mean I LOVE tortured Snape. I mean that IS how I envisioned it but the temper...I dunno...without the temper, something is missing. Ah yes...another thing, when Snape murdered Dumbledore, can anyone else say Obvious Much that Severus is good? Seriously, the book, there was the obvious parts but it even put a fear in the deepest fans hearts. 'Is Severus Snape good?' The movie did not even let us question that. It was so obvious that Snape wanted no part of it, not even a little like a spy showing his true colours.

I absolutely hated Remus and Tonks in this one. 'Come on Darling'. WHAT? When did they get together? How could they just slam them together without any scenes or proof? OMG how could they just do that. Remus and Tonks are spoiled in my eyes forever.

I think the scene where Dumbledore had to drink the potion was just bloody brilliant. Seriously, no truer accuracy and finally Michael Gambon redeemed himself as Albus Dumbledore. The over-dramatism was gone. He wasn't as calm as the first one but good enough.

I hated the burning of the Burrow. It served no purpose but to provide action in the story. Why add that and take away the battle at Hogwarts? I think that would worked so much better. The scene where everyone was at the Hospital Wing and Harry tells them what happened was something that should not have been left out. That could have seriously worked wonderfully.

Horace Slughorn...nothing special...kinda from the book so there's nothing to say... Lavander...annoying but hey, that's the book.

Ah yes...the whole stupid movie... Ok I hated the fact they just spoon-fed us the information from the start. I mean why did they have to tell everyone about the cupboard? Granted it gave draco more screen time but it didn't let the audience question WTH was going on. Why did they make it so obvious that Dumbledore was Draco's target? Why could they let the audience think. I think that is the biggest disappointment. Everything was spoon fed I didn't even need to use my brain.

Romance was all kinda good lar. The Harry/Ginny thing a bit too much since Ginny was still dating Dean. Lying cheat but it wasn't so bad. Emma did a wonderful job without sounding whinny like the previous movies. However everytime Harry comforted her the song 'Gay Boyfriend' wouldn't stop playing in my head.

All in all not so bad, but I still rather have a change of director. I'm praying now they won't get rid of the Penisieve scene in book 7. Good night!

Tag 10 people after you're done!

1. smoked.
2. consumed alcohol.
3. slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex.
4. slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex.
5. kissed someone of the same sex.
6. had sex.
7. had someone in your room other than family.
8. watched porn.
9. bought porn.
10. tried drugs.
#MY TOTAL: 1

1. taken painkillers.
2. taken someone else's prescription medicine.
3. lied to your parents.
4. lied to a friend.
5. snuck out of the house.
6. done something illegal.
7. felt hurt.
8. hurt someone.
9. wished someone to die.
10. seen someone die.
#MY TOTAL: 5


1. missed curfew.
2. stayed out all night.
3. eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself.
4. been to a therapist.
5. received a ticket.
6. been to rehab.
7. dyed your hair.
8. been in an accident.
9. been to a club.
10. been to a bar.
#MY TOTAL: 2

1. been to a wild party.
2. been to a Mardi Gras parade.
3. drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night.
4. had a spring break in Florida.
5. sniffed anything.
6. wore black nail polish.
7. wore arm bands.
8. wore t-shirts with band names.
9. listened to rap.
10. owned a 50 Cent CD.
#MY TOTAL: 1


1. dressed gothic.
2. dressed girly.
3. dressed punk.
4. dressed grunge.
5. stole something.
6. been too drunk to remember anything.
7. blacked out.
8. fainted.
9. had a crush on a neighbor.
#MY TOTAL: 3

1. had a crush on a friend.
2. been to a concert.
3. dry-humped someone.
4. been called a slut.
5. called someone a slut.
6. installed speakers in your car.
7. broken a mirror.
8. showered at someone of the opposites sex's house.
9. brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush.
#MY TOTAL: 1

1. consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper.
2. seen an R-rated movie in theater.
3. cruised the mall.
4. skipped school.
5. had surgery.
6. had an injury.
7. gone to court.
8. walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping.
9. caught something on fire.
10. lied about your age.
#MY TOTAL: 6


1. owned/rented an apartment/house.
2. broke the law in the police's presence.
3. made out with someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend.
4. got in trouble with the police.
5. talked to a stranger.
6. hugged a stranger.
7. kissed a stranger.
8. rode in the car with a stranger.
9. been harassed.
10.been verbally harassed.
#MY TOTAL: 1


1. met face-to-face with someone you met online.
2. stayed online for 5+ hours straight.
3. talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight.
4. watched TV for 5 hours straight.
5. been to a fair.
6. been called a bad influence.
7. drink and drive.
8. prank-called someone.
9. laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex.
10. cheated on a test.
#MY TOTAL: 4


Grand Total: 24 -- I'm average

If You Have Less Than 10: write [I'm a Goody Goody]
If You Have More Than 10: write [I'm still a goody goody]
If You Have more Than 20: write [I'm average]
If You Have More Than 30: write [I'm a bad kid]
If You have more than 40: write [I'm a very bad influence]
If You Have more than 50: write [I'm a horrible person]
If You Have more than 60: write [I should be in jail]
If You Have more than 70: Write [I should be dead]

Happy Birthday Aisyah!

Wow, can't believe it's been 11 years since we've met. Haha I feel really old now. Enjoy your birthday and Good Luck in SPM.

Wow ok, way too many things to blog about today. I have this stupid flu/cough/sore throat/headache that's getting on my nerves. So I'm skipping school for 2 days.Ok partly because I'm lazy but still...

Ok I'm posting a warning here. While not as emo as my last post, this might be interpreted as racist, cynical and angry (I'm perfectly calm now) so for those of you who are small hearted (haha direct translation) then please don't read. Ok so I'm watching the Michael Jackson funeral and they were singing the songs promoting World Peace like We are the Children and Heal the World. They are talking about World Harmony and all that crap and it got me thinking is World Peace truly achievable. I mean everyone is racist. Whether a little or alot. Hell all my friends are racist. I don't think you could even name one who wasn't. It's just the degree or level of racistness. ( That is so not a word.)

I happily admit I'm racist. I hate the bunch of people who rule my country but it doesn't mean I stay away from them or do hate crimes. Hell, in form 1 almost all my friends were malay. However they prove to me why I don't like these people. It's not that I don't give them a chance it's how it is.

Ok back to the subject. I have no idea how bad is racism in America right now but I'll just assume that they are better than us (At least they have a voice.) Now I'm not saying that TV is law but I'm sure that there is certain truth in it. Now whenever a white person kills a black person, the community accuses him of being racist. If the court can't pin it on the man, the whole black (& minorities) assume they the judge or jury are racist. Again I'm assuming that the racist conditions between black and whites are better than ours after all that crap they've been through. I mean there are those racist people but aren't the blacks being racist as well? There may not be wars, but how long will it take for the community not to look at color? Don't get me wrong, I know it's not the blacks fault, it's been embedded in their mindset. Just like in this country. The malays have the mindset that they deserve more then any other race. The chinese have the mindset that the malays are lazy pigs who get everything free. The indians think that they are being oppressed by everyone (but mostly the malays.)

Indians I know who I thought were these nice fellows began to show racism to the chinese. Then there are those mango chinese who have a problem with indians because they are black (like wth?). And of course my dear friend had a problem with Jesus being played by an Indian person in a play. Hello? Jesus wasn't chinese either. The best are the people fighting that Jesus IS their race. Hello? Jesus wasn't white or black or oriental or hispanic or arabian or jewish...wait...he was...

Malaysians aren't allowed to go to Israel because Israel is/was warring with Arab. This shouldn't have anything to do with us. We are Malaysians not Arabian descendants. (Er...I hope you understand what I mean by that) We are forced (malays mostly) to support Arab in the war just because they share the same religion. Israelites are not welcomed into our country. Hello? Wake up people. The war does not involve US it involves two parties who have been fighting forever for a piece of land that used to belong to Israel but now it belongs to Arab so get a grip people. You don't see Indonesia still trying to claim Malaysia because they used to own us. However I firmly believe that if it belongs to someone give it back. I find it pathetic that they are fighting for this 'Holy Land' when the Arabians already have their own Holy Place. Why fight? No offense to anyone but I firmly believe Jerusalem belongs to the Jews, they have lived there forever. The Muslims claim it is theirs because they claim they are God's chosen people. Hello? Christians and Jews claim that as well. (I believe we are all God's people) We are fighting for something that only God can decide.

I don't think I need to tell you about Malaysia I think you people know yourself how bad it is. If Malaysia can have true racial harmony, any country can. Ok that's about all I can think of writing. Can we heal the world? We can try. Can the world achieve World Peace? I'm sorry but I truly doubt it. I remember this one time we were doing a seni project with Aisyah and Li Chin and we were suppose to just to this mobile. I suggested that we take the sign of all the religions of the world and hang them together showing unity. They told me it was too controversial. Tell me, how can unity between religions be controversial? Is it because people rather have the supremacy of one?

OMG So cute lar. Zhuge Liang was on par but while recognizable, Sima Yi doesn't look so accurate. Neither does Zhang He but he's chibi so no comment.

BOYS NOT ALLOWED

Last Sunday I went to watch this play called Good Body...It was touching...life-changing (kinda). I can't explain what it is about maybe I should just post the intro

In the midst of a war in Iraq, in a time of escalating global terrorism, when civil liberties are disappearing as fast as the ozone layer, when one out of three women in the world will be beaten or raped in her life time, why write a play about my stomach?

Maybe because my stomach is one thing I feel I have control over, or maybe because I have hoped that my stomach is something I could get control over. Maybe because I see how my stomach has come to occupy my attention, I see how other women’s stomachs or butts or thighs or hair or skin have come to occupy their attention, so that we have very little left for the war in Iraq—or much else, for that matter.When a group of ethnically diverse, economically disadvantaged women in the United States was recently asked about the one thing they would change in their lives if they could, the majority of these women said they would lose weight. Maybe I identify with these women because I have bought into the idea that if my stomach were flat, then I would be good, and I would be safe. I would be protected.I would be accepted, admired, important,loved. Maybe because for most of my life I have felt wrong, dirty, guilty, and bad, and my stomach is the carrier, the pouch for all that self-hatred. Maybe because my stomach has become the repository for my sorrow, my childhood scars, my unfulfilled ambition,my unexpressed rage. Like a toxic dump, it is where the explosive trajectories collide—the Judeo-Christian imperative to be good; the patriarchal mandate that women be quiet, be less; the consumer-state imperative to be better, which is based on the assumption that you are born wrong and bad, and that being better always involves spending money, lots of money. Maybe because, as the world rapidly divides into fundamentalist camps, reductive sound bites, and polarizing platitudes, an exploration of my stomach and the life therein has the potential to shatter these dangerous constraints.

The Good Body began with me and my particular obsession with my “imperfect” stomach. I have charted this self-hatred, recorded it, tried to follow it back to its source. Here, I am my own victim, my own perpetrator. Of course, the tools of my self victimization have been made readily available. The pattern of the perfect body has been programmed into me since birth. But whatever the cultural influences and pressures, my preoccupation with my flab, my constant dieting, exercising, worrying, is self imposed.I pick up the magazines. I buy into the ideal. I believe that blond, flat girls have the secret. What is far more frightening than narcissism is the zeal for self-mutilation that is spreading, infecting the world.

I have been to more than forty countries in the last six years. I have seen the rampant and insidious poisoning: skin-lightening creams sell as fast as toothpaste in Africa and Asia; the mothers of eight-year-olds in America remove their daughters’ ribs so they will not have to worry about dieting; five-year-olds in Manhattan do strict asanas so they won’t embarrass their parents in public by being chubby; girls vomit and starve themselves in China and Fiji and everywhere; (Korean women remove Asia from their eyelids)I think of you Pik Ee. . . the list goes on and on.

I have been in a dialogue with my stomach for the past three years. I have entered my belly—the dark wet underworld—to get at the secrets there. I have talked with women in surgical centers in Beverly Hills; on the sensual beaches of Rio de Janeiro;in the gyms of Mumbai, New York, Moscow; in the hectic and crowded beauty salons of Istanbul, South Africa, and Rome. Except for a rare few, the women I met loathed at least one part of their body. There was almost always one part that they longed to change, that they had a medicine cabinet full of products devoted to transforming or hiding or reducing or straightening or lightening. Just about every woman believed that if she could just get that part right, everything else would work out. Of course, it is an endless heartbreaking campaign.

This play is my prayer, my attempt to analyze the mechanisms of our imprisonment, to break free so that we may spend more time running the world than running away from it; so that we may be consumed by the sorrow of the world rather than consuming to avoid that sorrow and suffering. This play is an expression of my hope, my desire, that we will all refuse to be Barbie, that we will say no to the loss of the particular, whether it be to a voluptuous woman in a silk sari, or a woman with defining lines of character in her face, or a distinguishing nose, or olive toned skin, or wild curly hair.

I am stepping off the capitalist treadmill. I am going to take a deep breath and find a way to survive not being flat or perfect. I am inviting you to join me,to stop trying to be anything, anyone other than who you are. I was moved by women in Africa who lived close to the earth and didn’t understand what it meant to not love their body. I was lifted by older women in India who celebrated their roundness. I was inspired by Marion Woodman, a great Jungian analyst, who gave me confidence to trust what I know. She has said that “instead of transcending ourselves, we must move into ourselves.”Tell the image makers and magazine sellers and the plastic surgeons that you are not afraid. That what you fear the most is the death of imagination and originality and metaphor and passion. Then be bold and LOVE YOUR BODY. STOP FIXING IT. It was never broken.

I started weeping around the bolded text. Mainly I blame PMS but yea I felt it. I understood exactly what they mean. I understood what it was like to think that things would be SO different if I was thinner, prettier, perfect. What is it like to love your body? Thin girls want to gain weight, fat girls want to lose it. Short girls want to grow taller, Tall girls wish they were shorter. It's a been there, done that formula. No one is ever happy. Why? It's disturbing to watch stick-thin girls starve themselves to lose weight when I see myself do nothing about mine. Guilty, dirty, bad. Those words always ring in my head when I look in the mirror. save to say I stopped looking. Until now I can't find a single thing I can like about myself.

I used to be proud I had big breasts. That's what people looked for right? My mother never failed to remind me how much bigger my breasts were from hers. Hello? You're not part Indian, I am. it's in the genes. Not only that, you weren't stuff with a shot-load of hormones from KFC. Then y'know people start talking. I can't remember who, but then someone casually mentioned to me once that chinese boys never like girls with big boobs. They find it too (can't remember the chinese word she used) showy or something. Ok it was obvious she was talking to me. Then of course we have people like Pik Ee and Celeste saying how big my breasts were. I remember telling Pik Ee about how chickens nowadays had hormones injected in them and that's why men were developing boobs. 'Oh looks like you ate too much chicken lar.' she answered. Ouch! Thanks alot Pik Ee. That was the boost of self-confidence I needed. Of course then we got Kuan Ngee and the chinese girls in our class bitching and making fun of Reka's enormous boobs. So yea now I officially HATE my breasts.

There was this one line in the play that I remembered so well and was pretty touched by. There was this 80 year old character talking about the numerous plastic surgeries she had done mainly because her mother always told her she was never beautiful and all that crap. They she said that her husband told her she was beautiful as she was. She said that didn't count because 'He loves me'. That's what I never understand. Parents say they love you so why can't they ever say you are perfect the way you are. Half of the people on Good Body were disturbed because of their parents. Why are they so caught up in this image thing as well? Friends. What does it matter if you are bigger, smaller, fatter, thinner than one another? It is not affecting them in any way. I remember Kuan Ngee bitched continuously in Form 3 & 4 about how fat Raihan was. What does it matter to her if Raihan was fat or not. She wasn't stealing your food or taking your place. What does it matter to her? People wonder why I don't feel safe around Kuan Ngee. God knows whether she is telling Pik Ee about how fat I am or how big my boobs are.

I remember telling myself after the play I wouldn't feel so insecure anymore. This is my life, not my parents, not my friends and definitely not the guy who may or may not take me for prom. Yea i woul love a boyfriend, but I don't need a guy to tell me how beautiful I am. Well, that's what I told myself. It's not that bad as before but dreams are tempting. I would give anything to be safe, protected, accepted, admired, important and most of all loved.

R.I.P
Michael Jackson

Ok I was totally shock when I heard the news. I was seriously like WTF? I felt sad y'know that this guy, this artist is dead. However I can't say that Michael Jackson changed my life and all that crap. I mean when they were playing his songs throughout the day he dies I was like 'OMG MJ sang this not some random female'. But seriously I liked most of his songs but I never grew up with the music. Wrong time period. he was just the guy on TV who I kept 4gettin whether he Was a guy or a girl. With my 'mature' mind, the next I knew about him was that disgusting child molester. I was like, who cares if he's a great singer, he's a freakin pervert. Then again, it was then I realized that Hollywood was never beautiful. It was filled with 'ugly' people. So who was MJ to me? He was just that guy. That singer. The one Weird Al makes wonderful parodies of. I can just conclude that MJ meant very little to me. So can someone tell me why was I sad when he died? A reaction to death? I remember that ep on House where the Cutthroat Bitch was dying and everyone went to pay their respects. Kutner was like 'we didn't even like her'; Foreman answers 'She wasn't dying then.' Is that what death is? People will only wonder about you after you are dead. It was like this ad about Pope John Paul II I used to see. When he was alive no one knew him or cared about him or even bothered to listen to him. And yet when he died, he got so much attention. Everyone knew him. Everyone knew what he was preaching about. Is this life? is this death? Did I feel sad 4 MJ because he was dead? I never cared about him but I felt a trace of the pin his fans felt worldwide. Is this what it's like when someone dies?

Hehe erm...nothing much to say so erm yea...

How well do you know me?

Yea it's this quiz everyone was doing on facebook. So yea, pretty easy for anyone who heard me rant in my life. So yea, try it out. Good luck guys

Woah...Went to Sunway with some of the wonderful people in our class. We were supposed to watch a movie than go ice skating. The others went to see Night at the Museum 2 where else me, Pik Ee and Kuan Ngee went to see Star Trek cause Pik Ee already saw Night at the Museum. I didn't mind either way, anything was better than the bloody Angels and Demons. I was more keen to see Night as I just watched the first one a few days ago again. I didn't mind watching Star Trek tho as I really, really wanted to see how Zachary(Sylar) would do as Spock. Turned out Star Trek was great. It wasn't so cliche as most movies seriously.

(Major spoiler alerts throughout the post. If possible ignore everything in purple if u dun wanna spoil the story. If u can't ignore the whole post and jump to the last 2 paragraphs) I mean I expected Kirk to get the girl, not Spock and it happened without the whole rivalry thing. And of course, future Spock didn't go back to the future.

So anyway, the characters were all lovable which surprised me. I mean I don't like all the characters in the show. Especially the girl, but they did it in such a way that you had no choice but to. The three captains (not Kirk) showed real leadership and knew how to protect their crew.The one one the far left is this cute Russian kid, Chevov or something. His English is really funny. Wictor,Wictor! ANyway, he's funny cute and likable oh and he's 17.
Next to him is James T. Kirk our very own hero. Ok he's hot. Not my type but even I have to admit he's hot. Dun really like his typical hero character but he is pretty well done (sorry I like mine rare XD). This pic so doesn't display his hotness. He's funny as well, says the most random things at times. 'I am Spock!' '...Bullshit!' Think he acted in Princess Diaries 2 or something. He's cool but I'll never forgive him for taunting Sylar oops I mean Spock like that even if Future Spock told him to. PoorSy-I mean Spock.
Besides him, towards the back it Scotty. Nice accent, can't remember from where tho. He's funny and I love his pet 'monkey'. It's eyes are creepy tho.
Besides him towards the front is Dr. Bones. His real name is Leonard(wth?) can't remember why they called him bones. At first I thought he was going to be the annoying divorced fella' but other than the first time, the divorce was never mentioned. Good fellow.
Ok next to him is Sulu(what kind of name is that?) Not sure what race he is(him or the actor). Read from somewhere he was Jap(Sulu). I was so sure he would die but then I recognize the name Sulu...wasn't he part of the crew? Then I knew he was safe. Haha I kept imagining Kumar(Harold and Kumar) popping out from the back tho.
Next to him is Uhura. Anything good I can say about her is spoilers so: I respect her cause they didn't try to do the whole love triangle and she being torn thing. They kept her loyal. Even then she knew when to comfort Spock and when to just back down. She isn't one of those clingy girls who get pissed off when their boy doesn't share his feelings. All in all I like her (I hardly like female characters) because she is different and she didn't steal screen time like all the other 'heroines'.
Last but not least Sy-Spock. Ok I mean like wow. I mean no real complaints except for the hair. The first Spock wears it better. As Pik Ee would say the 'Ah Wong hairstyle'(some canto show about a mentally retard man) It was so weird hearing him sprout all this logical, scientifical crap. Like Bones said: I'm not a physicist. Pik Ee, Zachary is HOT! I went to forums and I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks so. I so wished I was Uhura. :'( He's a mighty fine kisser. Acting as superb, like most brilliant actors, he can convey emotions with his eyes. Haha obsessed rant again. I'm just so happy there are gonna be sequels. Tried to watch the first season. Couldn't stand the graphics and could barely understand them. Gave up.

So anyway, it was so weird watching a movie with Pik Ee. She was so emotional throughout the movie. She was already teary eyed at the start. WTH? it wasn't even sad. Of course when I felt sad at the middle I had to keep telling myself 'You're wearing eye-liner, luv. You so dun want to smudge it.' Stupid PMS. I don't feel like crying at movies! Anyway back to Pik Ee.
She would gasp and when Spock nearly crashed into the ship but survived she cried luckily. Hello, of course he wouldn't die. Kuan Ngee wasn't any better. When me and Pik Ee laughed she stayed silent. When it was the serious part and me and Pik Ee was silent she burst out laughing. Like WTH? Same thing like the people above us. They kept laughing at random things. Haha dun get me wrong guys, it's fun to watch with u all...except Kuan Ngee. Who cares if they've gone to skate? Stop smsing and watch the damn movie. XD

Haha after that we went ice skating. Not bad. I finally can skate without holding the side. Fell only once, so proud. Not bad lar but my feet hurt like hell after that. Haha kind of enjoyed the trip(of course mainly it was the movie) but still not bad. Damn you Helen and Sarah for not coming. Well, that's all I guess. Whoever who haven't watched Star Trek yet must watch. It's seriously worth it. Well farewell, Live long and prosper.

Angry

I think most of you would know who I'm bloody pissed off at. The bloody bitch has no right to speak to me that way. Who does she think she is? Just because I don't say anything doesn't mean I have no feelings. For those who don't know who I'm talking about then I won't say since things online have a way of getting around. All I can say it's about my English paper (no it's not Valsala).

I showed Vanket(sp?) the damn paper and she explained to me patiently about what was wrong with it. Why can't the bloody bitch do that instead of making a bloody fuss? This is what she commented on my paper: No originality. Write something to your level and something you are familiar with. This is Good but does not reflect your own work. A mere regurgitation of what you had read.

How the hell does she know that I copied the bloody thing? Is it really so unbelievable that I could write that on my own? Then maybe I should feel complimented. Since it was so good she doesn't believe it was my work. Even Vangket was surprised and suspicious when I said this was original. I don't read much about abuse, I only know what I see on TV and I don't think my story was like anything I've seen.

Don't get me wrong, I so get the whole not suitable for SPM thing. Even Vangket agrees with it however that doesn't give that bitch(not Vangket) any right to talk to me like that and assume she knows what is going through my mind when she doesn't even know me.

That's about it guys I need to cool down for a while. I just get really pissed off when people try to tell me what I feel. Hello? My feelings or yours? Pity your daughter lar. Probably would end up like you anyway.

WTF!? Speechless

How the hell could have Kris won? Even Kris knows he isn't as good as Adam. I mean seriously...
This is a quote from this girl in msn tv:-
America got it right an idol is someone you want your kids to look up to, with good values being gay is not a right, it usually comes from issues somewhere in your lifethat is not anything to model as a life style you would want yourkids to choose

What a b*tch! Seriously. Is she living in middle age? Gay people should not be discriminated but rather accepted. She then goes on to say that we should be faithful to God and not be gay or support gays. She even went as far to say God did not make Adam and Steve. If she truly was religeous then she should know that God created everyone. Gay, straight, white, black etc. She should go back to whatever rock she lived under.

(Takes a deep breath) So sorry about the rant. She got me so angry. I can't stand Christians (and Muslims) who go around saying they are better than others. I'm a Christian, a Catholic none the less and I feel very insulted by these close-minded people. Especially when they go around saying 'Only Christians will be saved' 'We Christians despise you' . Hello speak for yourself and not for everyone. You only embaress others. And the worst is they assume you are a terrible Christian if you don't share the same thoughts with them. Seriously man, enough.

Sigh. Back to American Idol. There is nothing wrong with Kris. I think he's a handsome dude but he just isn't talented enough. He played safe week after week. I mean this is American Idol take some risks like Adam did week after week. Yea Ring of Fire garnered complaints but it was a risk and there were people who actually liked it. It's great and all Kris can play the guitar (I'm not going to count the piano ><) and all but like I said this is a singing contest. The instuments are not for showing off how talented but to see whether it can bring out your vocals. People seem to forget that.

I was seriously 'oh my godding' when Kiss came out to sing with Adam. My eyes popped out of my socket and Adam could actually do it without being overshadowed by Kiss. And then the Queen song. It doesn'ty matter Adam didn't win, he'll be famous and become the next David Archuleta (eww I hate Archuleta). The biggest difference is only the title and I was so hoping for the first gay American Idol. Hopefully it shows that America doesn't discriminate but I was wrong.

The wierdest thing now is they say hackers got into the system to prevent Adam from winning. Like WTH? Modern technology really brings problems. Hopefully AI will up their system if this is true.

I just love it that Adam is so humble. It's so unsuiting of the persona he puts on on the stage but that's about it a persona. He is humble, sweet and can be the guy next door if he wanted to (but I don't want him to). My eyes popped out during the audition where he was so hyperactive. so unAdam like but like I said, stage persona.

I better start studying my chem now. Don't give up Adam. You will be a better star than Kris. Please come to Malaysia so I can scream my head off. XD

American Idol Finale

Oh my God! That's all I can say. The finale was wonderful and yet wierdly dissapointing. Not the singing mind you, more on the hype. It didn't feel like a finale at all. Maybe it was the lack of animosity between the two or the lack of competition. Anyway:-

Song 1
Mad World
Adam sang Mad World again. Oh my God! It broke my heart. It was so haunting and different. The dry ice, lighting, voice. It was perfect. I loooooooovvvveeeee the trench coat. What the hell is wrong with you Simon? You give great comments vocally but stay out of fashion. I mean look in the mirror. Disturbing.

Ain't No Sunshine
Kris sang... something something sunshine. Really didn't care about him. Trying deperately hard not to be bias but I found nothing special about his performance. I know he's a guitarist but his piano skills were like meh... When Simon was like Kris wins this round I was like wth? Seriously trying not to be bias but Adams' performance rocked and Kris was like meh.


Song 2
A Change is Gonna Come
Adam's next song was this wierd R&B (sounded a little country) song and again I was like wth? I mean of all songs to choose. It was...different. I cringed...it wasn't bad but it was wierd for Adam. The judges said it was good so I shall take their word for it since when I like someone I am highly critical of their performance so if the judges said it was brilliant then brilliant it is.

What's Going On?
Kris' performance again nothing spectacular but I prefered it to the first one. Don't ask me why especially with the judges condeming this one. The guitars suited the song. Nothing much to say. Adam takes this round of course. Conclusion, never let Simon Fuller choose the songs. XD

Song 3
No Bounderies
This is where I get really angry and suspicious at AI. Remember last years time of our life? Well could anyone actually imagine Archuleta singing it? Well that made me suspicious that Idol might be rigged. This time the AI song written by Kara was so 'Kris'. I mean seriously even when Adam sang it, Kris was written all over it. Now I'm worried that Idol might be rigged and Kris would win. The best was Kris' performance was worst than Adams' (sorry Kris). I don't remember the judges comments but to me Adam won round 3. i'm really praying he wins 2moro. Our first gay American Idol.

Carrie Underwood was lovely. Can't wait for tommowrow's show.

Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

Hey everyone! It's my birthday! Wiipee........ **** it, it's the worst birthday ever. I'm so tired. I tried to give myself the best birthday present ever. I told the guy I liked, I liked him. He didn't give any reaction at all so I turned and ran. As Steph won't fail to remind me 'like a 3-grade kid'. It was so stupid. Shit!

Just some wishful drinking on my- part,
wishful thinking from my- heart.
Wasted spinning of my brain inside my head

This guy is a close friend of mine. So I was so worried that y'know our friendship will dissolve if he rejects me. So I told him be4 I told him I liked him that no matter what I say we should still be friends. So he tries...it feels fake...even what I say feels fake. Like we're trying too hard. I know it'll take some time but I don't want our friendship to fade. I know he feels awkward but I dun understand. He knew a mutual friend of ours used to like him and their close as ever. Could we be the same? I'm so scared.

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don 't think that they'd understand
When everything's meant to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Sometimes I'd feel like blaming Steph but I know it's not her fault. I shouldn't have told her i should have just lied. Before anyone knew I managed to tell myself I was only in love with the idea of liking him. But when I told the girls, it felt real and that drove me to tell him. I even saw signs that were never there. He sounded jealous when I professed my undying love to Adam (American Idol) but I guess I read the signals wrong. He's probably disgusted that I like a gay guy.

I can't continue anymore. I've never really cried over a guy before...I just did. I don't know why it hurts so much. It shouldn't...it's just a stupid crush...I feel so confused and sad. I'm half glad 2moro is Saturday so I don't have to face him. I just hope he can forget it over the weekend and everything can go back to normal. I was so stupid to think he'd like me I mean who would ever like me? I'm a fat, ugly, cursing bitch. Who could ever care?

I can't believe I'm quoting an Avenue Q song but it's so true especially the bolded ones.

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.
There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...
There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

Random Tags/Tests

Surprisingly accurate for something with such random questions. As usual, the ones in aqua are the ones I agree with. Yellow are my comments.

Get to Know Yourself Better

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior. I don't really agree with this 100% cause I am looking for a boyfriend, but maybe it's sometimes I want something more or something special.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. Yes and no...I have not been in a real relationship so I can't really answer this but yea probably but right now I don't really care.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love. Amen to this. The problem is I can't really identify who I like so that's a problem...but yea I think I will really fall in love once I meet the right person.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can. ...Again yes and no...I hate school and studying but I do agree it's important...maybe this applies more to maybe learning something I like.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life. This is probably the step I will take when I choose my job...but I would love to be able to do what I want to do.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous. Again...I have other careers in mind...things that are not very safe...but still that would be great.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear. Concerned? More like terrified. I keep telling people be who don't be anyone else but I feel like I'm changing day by day to someone i think my friends would want and I hate it. I just want to be me.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. ...I think People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. This you have to ask my friends... I'm not very sure. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

The Real You (Not as Accurate)

1. You are a very serious person. You tend to be quiet and well behaved, and you don't have a great deal of self-confidence. You prefer to be alone rather than with friends and that could make you a little less interesting to certain types of guys. You are very attractive in an individual kind of way, and this means it can take people a little while to get to like you.
2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
3. You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm. All i have to say is WTF? This is nothing like me AT ALL!!!
   
4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right? Again WTF? Totally not me AT ALL
   
5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence (didn't they just say I wasn't confident?) and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

What's Your Personality Love Style?
You are the type to fall quickly and passionately in love, but will commit to a person forever when this happens. When you choose to love someone, it's going to be a strong relationship and nothing will come between you and your lover. But beware: love can turn you blind, and the rest of the world might cease to exist while you are in that honeymoon phase. When you come down from your high, you may find you have neglected other people and things that you love. Two words A-men. Hehe

What does being a friend really mean to you?

You value your friendships: 60%

You love your friends very much - so much so that it's actually quite a worry. You may not be able to cope very well when you do lose somebody's friendship. You are a very sensitive and fragile person, and are therefore likely to get upset easily. You care for your friends and are willing to do anything that they ask you to do. Sometimes this can make your friends think that you are a bit of a nuisance. Nevertheless, people do really love you because your highest priority is your friends. ...No comment.

How you control your husband, who will lead the family and who will be led?

You will never expect to control your boyfriend or husband. Your boyfriend and you will take turns to make decision and the decision is often acceptable to both of you. Whatever you want to let him know, you can just tell him straightforwardly. This is a good relationship, a pretty modern one. Amen

1. Your future friend: You have a big sister confidence and leadership. So you friends are mostly vulnerable and always need your help. You can't resist helping these people and eventually you all will become good friends.
2. Your travel plan: In the future, you will often take overseas trips especially to modernized countries. You will get to explore Europe and North Asia like you always wanted.
3. Your future financial status: You are a big spender! You always spend on friends and luxury goods without feeling guilty. No matter how much you earn, you churn to match it. Your credit cards get thinner and thinner from frequent swipes. The figure in your bank account is not what you enjoy seeing.
4. The last period of your life: You can't stand being a lonely old lady so you will spend the last days of you life being a kind loving grandparent so that the kids will love to have you around. yay
   

Love and Your Sweetheart

This man is a sporty type. He has a strong heart and easily comes to terms with the truth. He likes sport and physical challenges, and quickly gets bored with routine. As for women, he gets bored if they are too formal and proper. You need to be enthusiastic and ready to be spontaneous as the occasion requires it. He enjoys activities such as bush walking or rock climbing, so to keep the relationship running smoothly you should give them a go. I'm spontaneous so that's good right?