Shu Whey made me write something. She was complaining that I haven't posted in so long. I was supposed to have posted something about Rocky Horror but I've drifted into my emo mood.

SPM results were out today. I can't believe it's been a whole year since mine came out, since my last epic failure. I thought I was over this whole thing but I guess I'm still really angry at myself. I mean it couldn't have been too hard to get straight A+ I'm just a stupid lazy bint. I think that's why I hate it when everyone says I'm smart. I can't help but think it sounds sarcastic and it just reminds me of my greatest failure. Maybe I'm just paranoid but I can't help but imagine them thinking why can't I score better than that lazy bitch.

I think I'm too overconfident and someone has to slap me once in a while. But how can I be overconfident without the self-esteem to back it up. even Mr Leonard says it's impossible. So what is it? I pretend to be overconfident or I pretend to have a low self-esteem? That's a good question because honestly I'd like neither thank you very much. Perhaps it's not overconfidence but I just expect too much out of myself, hence the low self-esteem. That might be it... but then again most people who expect a lot from themselves are confident if not with themselves then their abilities... Hmn....

People say I think too much... I guess so. I don't like being philosophical but maybe I'm just curious. I mean seriously I am so proud of my conclusion why men are more homophobic then women though there are no stats behind them. I loved going around asking questions like the previous one I asked 'would you rather sleep with a member of the same sex or a corpse of a different sex?' I thought I was weird for choosing the living rather than dead but no. EVERY female I asked chose a female whereas EVERY male I asked chose the corpse. Like OMG are you serious? I was shocked and excited...for awhile... I pity the Tea Party Gang for falling prey to all my weird questions. They probably think I'm some high-minded philosopher. Nah I'm just ADD prone with way too much on my mind.

Well that's it I guess. Sorry about the ramblings. I do plan my posts ahead of time to know what to write but the problem is once I've written it in my head I don't bother remembering anything or writing it down so yea it's all over the place.

PS. Yea great thanks to my wonderful best friend my stats above are RUINED. Oh well back to the drawing board.