Wah so fast a new post not bad. XD Haha that's so my style. I think you guys can wait another 3 months for the next one after this.

Truly I just want to rant but the things I want to rant about, well I never know if they will read my blog and I don't want them to get angry or hurt or guilty. I think it's my fault really for not learning the language but I'm not going to kill myself over learning it now. I mean there are so many more languages I WANT to learn why not waste my time doing that. It's not their fault lar really it's mine. My codependent paranoid tendencies. I really think I'm over thinking everything lar I mean I just chatted with 5 people on facebook at a time. I should not feel this way still but it's been so long that I can't help it.

I'm trying really to socialize more and I apologize to the sub-gang if I'm destroying your alone time. Maybe it's just the exam stress that's getting to me and I'm channelling all my frustrations at a source. Maybe I'm just too used to people hating me and I'm just waiting for that moment for that someone to turn around and tell me to **** off. I've already done it to my chem lecturer, it won't be long before one of the gangs do that to me too or worse yet....... This bloody sucks......

I wonder how many people are bored of reading my blog. I mean it's emo post after emo post. It's not I'm never happy. It's just I have no interest to blog when I am. I think my old posts were definitely better when they actually had content instead of emo mutterings. I should get the blackliner and bangs and everything that goes with it. Haiz sorry guyz for the ones waiting for those deep meaningful blog (read Shu Wheys), or funny ones (read Pik Ee's) or thought provoking (read Keefe's) or Japanese band filled (read Aisyah's) {You guys better pay me for promotion} I'm just an overdramatic writer so yea things sound like from some bad soap opera.

Klar guyz I have procastinated enough. I have to get back to studying cause i just know my weekends will be filled. Ciao then.

Shu Whey made me write something. She was complaining that I haven't posted in so long. I was supposed to have posted something about Rocky Horror but I've drifted into my emo mood.

SPM results were out today. I can't believe it's been a whole year since mine came out, since my last epic failure. I thought I was over this whole thing but I guess I'm still really angry at myself. I mean it couldn't have been too hard to get straight A+ I'm just a stupid lazy bint. I think that's why I hate it when everyone says I'm smart. I can't help but think it sounds sarcastic and it just reminds me of my greatest failure. Maybe I'm just paranoid but I can't help but imagine them thinking why can't I score better than that lazy bitch.

I think I'm too overconfident and someone has to slap me once in a while. But how can I be overconfident without the self-esteem to back it up. even Mr Leonard says it's impossible. So what is it? I pretend to be overconfident or I pretend to have a low self-esteem? That's a good question because honestly I'd like neither thank you very much. Perhaps it's not overconfidence but I just expect too much out of myself, hence the low self-esteem. That might be it... but then again most people who expect a lot from themselves are confident if not with themselves then their abilities... Hmn....

People say I think too much... I guess so. I don't like being philosophical but maybe I'm just curious. I mean seriously I am so proud of my conclusion why men are more homophobic then women though there are no stats behind them. I loved going around asking questions like the previous one I asked 'would you rather sleep with a member of the same sex or a corpse of a different sex?' I thought I was weird for choosing the living rather than dead but no. EVERY female I asked chose a female whereas EVERY male I asked chose the corpse. Like OMG are you serious? I was shocked and excited...for awhile... I pity the Tea Party Gang for falling prey to all my weird questions. They probably think I'm some high-minded philosopher. Nah I'm just ADD prone with way too much on my mind.

Well that's it I guess. Sorry about the ramblings. I do plan my posts ahead of time to know what to write but the problem is once I've written it in my head I don't bother remembering anything or writing it down so yea it's all over the place.

PS. Yea great thanks to my wonderful best friend my stats above are RUINED. Oh well back to the drawing board.