I didn't even know why I started thinking of it. It was over so long ago but it appeared in my head, that one question... What was the nicest thing I remember you doing for me? When I thought of the answer, it opened up a whole wave of emotions I locked up. No, not about you. I am already long over you. I think that is for the better. No but it reminded me of the time when you did that nice thing. I think I locked up memories of that time. I always try to forget everything or maybe I just have a bad memory. XD :( But I guess even I have to admit it is probably in the running for worst period of my life.

I don't know which feels worst, the fact I never expected anyone to care for my feelings like you did or the fact that I kinda hoped that there would be more... Nah I'm being selfish... Why would anyone care about little old me? I tried not to think about it then. Who was on my side? Who supported me? I can only name one person with complete sureness. Why? No, no the question is why am I disappointed? I expected this. For months I braced myself for the same conclusion...so why do I feel so betrayed? Am I selfish?

Nah this was a very long time ago... I should be putting this all behind me. Erase the song 'Girl Next Door' from my phone and carry on. I have the Tea Party right now. I'm happier now. I know they'd stand by me no matter what.

"LIAR!!!"

(looks away) Yea...Alucia's right...I'm lying to myself. Put them in the same situation...I'd be left on my own again. It's not their fault believe me...but is it really mine? Why am I so worthless? It's not like I'm unhappy with the outcome but...these were the people I called my friends...I don't...

Haiz...I dunno what else to say... It's just bad memories coming back to haunt me but... I really tried to forget it, honest I did. Just sometimes, something reminds me of it...and things just go bad. Haiz and I was in a good mood too. Oh wellz I dun have much else to say...Just let me go ponder life for a while.  :(

Nightz